Monday, April 6, 2015

你总是学不会, 做错才后悔

  • 不想卷入这个感情漩涡
  • 因为我已不想一错再错
  • 你的心里如果真的有我
  • 就不会让我再受折磨
  • 酒能麻醉我也能让我堕落
  • 和你像是解不开的枷锁
  • 被你冷落过的我已迷惑
  • 现在觉得寂寞又说爱我
  • 你寂寞才找我 你情人那么多
  • 换了你是我 你会怎么做
  • 我终究还是我 已付出那么多
  • 又得到了什么
  • 有需要才找我 我给你那么多
  • 你还想要什么 我不想再配合
  • 这不是谁的错 是情欲犯的错
  • 就请你放了我

  • people pftenę turned out different 
  • Friday, March 27, 2015

    #RIPLKY you're safe in angels' arm now. we will remember you for as long as we live.

    haven't been blogging for the longest time since i'm free everyday anyway, but the thought of uploading tons of pictures & having so much to say, after being purely lazy hence not updating for a week after my latest post, the remaining days which follows, dread me even more.

    but from the very moment when the media started breaking the news of the passes on of mr lee kuan yew, today i finally "show some action" instead of "always talking" and yup so i am here to express and share my thoughts about the regrets of every single Singaporeans for the loss of our hero founding father. been wanting to do these but felt words are not enough for me to specifically sum up the whole history & memories our proud father have left us with, all etched deep in our heart. 

    for an instance, i felt shameful. the fact that i'am a pure Singaporean, able to hold my pink IC, live in HDB flats, having unlimited supply of food & water everyday, i should at least have a brief knowledge where/how they came from but i got zero informations about this hero here other than his status as PM LEE in the earlier years. the first few reports &' news were a lil too draggy i thought to myself.... from when he's admitted to hospital, to his discharge followed by the passing on. i can assure definitely there are plenty of people at my generation sharing the same mindset as me but that's because we know nuts about who i now proudly address him our father. Singaporeans' father, Singapore's father. but then again there must be reasons to why there are people who are willing to go all out and die for him where there must also be reasons why people disagrees throwing all kinds of nasty comments without showing even a tad of sympathy after hearing the unfortunate news. i got curious here since the past few days the repetition of this name LEE KUAN YEW kept going on regardless it's through the FM, through social media or on the screen. it caught my attention & i began to prompt questions, read articles & news about him, watch how much people grieve for him and how much impact his death actually caused to the nation. i am now roughly aware of what he've did for us, singaporean.. maybe the infos i've gathered over two days were only less than half of his lifetime contribution to this country, it is already A LOT to me alone, leave alone the population of 5 million Singaporeans in this country. His country. but at least i'm proud to still be able to see and know more about him and his histories before & after he've passed on.. (not in person) and yes i hope his stories will still be passed down to the next few generations & on.. & on.. don't know why but emotions rushed in making my heart felt extremely tight & heavy, sinking deeper after the realization of his noble history. i felt really upset and angry when i see nasty comments about him over the net even though the positive ones outbeat the negative ones. but they're just too ignorantly ungrateful to do so ( from my point of view ) i am writing this post not to claim any credits just tryna share and express my gratitude here in my space, so in future if i lose hope in any way, i would still be able to retrieve this from my archives as i felt he's not only a great leader but am also positively influenced by MM LEE. my greatest regret was never to had made my best effort to send him off instead merely standing or sitting by the sofa listening to the different stories about him, attentively in front of the screen. that's nothing, totally. even if i were to lose sleep 3 days 3 nights just to watch the show goes on i would, but my weariness can never be compared to his abundance sacrifications, when all his life he's only mugging for one reason, one nation, one country and the one reason is for US, fellow Singaporeans.. 

    it all goes to him we are able to live in such an advanced & clean country. he made this little red dot shine when it is hardly even visible on the world map. how did our fellow foreigners even heard or know about this country and why the huge amount of them from different & bigger countries applying for PRC in Singapore? how did one man turn a small country into currently a well-known and popular country? he persisted and stood rooted to his principles regardless. if he thinks it is not rightful and that he felt your action could be a threat to the country, he'll go by the books, carry out actions against you so long as theres intention that harms singapore or if he felt your actions might mislead any singaporean, you are a threat and you have to go! tell me how many of us now, can be persistent with such principle? what if the roles switched and now it happened to be one of your friends or colleagues whom've committed a crime you felt was unforgivable and a disadvantage to the country but they begged for your leniency, or
     for a second chance? maybe this is one of the reason why there are haters wh have forgotten all the sacrification he've made, the heartwrenching decisions he's made and the hard-less truth behind the man you called, heart-less? i guess that explains the critisms spreading over the net without trying to rationally think for him in his shoe how he personally felt at every hard moves made behind the closed door. we're all humans and he too, is no exception. we all have feelings and I'm sure he did not felt good about it when he HAVE TO deal with what he GOT TO. (Even if it means he have to put his friend to jail) to achieve a better country a better singapore. if he is selfish he would've already thought for himself instead of putting all interest solely on the country's welfare, how many of us can actually grit our teeths against the pain when it comes to difficult & complicated situations?

    i understand that different individuals have different perceptions we don't always agree with each others all the time but before the critics, look at the beautiful place we're living in. we owe it to him to be happily (though stressful) walking on the street we call our home, clean environment no suffocations, safely secure by the uniform groups of men who went under rightful disciplinary trainings to protect our own country. how public transport brings us to many different places at affordable rates (even though yes we really hope it stops rising) and how everything in Singapore attracts tourists. the laws he insisted on and the effort of his hard work despite the world war & the endless hardships with no freedom at all. Now, would you people do the least you can for him, keep all the negative comments to yourself at least for this week, let it be a peaceful one afterall peacefulness was one of what he's achieved..  

    Apart from that, i have read articles his daughter posted online and it's quite heartwarming to know that they share a close bond. Most importantly, i respect him for his unconditional and eternal love he shared with his wife! i am 99% sure we're never gonna find such a rare and loyal men these days. even though they did not have their parents' consent when they secretly register to be lawfully husband and wife overseas, (eventually had their second wedding held in Singapore with both their parents' sitting by their side) one the few words from him which inspires me was that he thought "i don't think it is wrong to marry the same woman twice" and till the very last day they (have to) part, he refused to leave her to rest planting kisses on her. sorry if you felt i'm exaggerating here cos normally i don't express this much, but oh my god my eyes were filled with tears and green of envy! but i admit at first i thought it might just be like any other TV dramas we would usually see about the unrealistic "happily ever after" relationship about love, i thought maybe they behaved and stayed close to each other were for show or maybe they were close to each other but the stories about them were too exaggerating. there's a lot of possibilities and question marks in my head though it is still something happy & positive, a happy sight of an old loving couple whom were left with merely few strands of white hair preserves their love till date. please pardon me for being negative when it comes to "love" but it is also because i have never witness such unconditional love in real life and that the scary amount of betrayed failed r/s and marriages were actually so much more common these days that mislead me. then somewhere in between these few days i came across a video from Facebook that gives me intense goosebumps! it was a short clip showing his wife wiping his head half way through what was going on (maybe some political meetings) instead of hurriedly clean allowing the men to carry on, she actually do it at her own pace. they had soft conversations between themselves and mdm lee gave me a feeling she's just like all the other wives out there taking care of their husbands attending to their needs. they were laughing from their heart despite the few politicians presence. to my surprise, mr lee did not show any signs of rushing her off too! gosh! i am indeed dumbstrucked and my admiration goes to this loving couple who lived together throughout their lives till they can barely breathe, especially to mr lee becaus it stated in news that his wife was his FIRST love. KUDOS and THANK YOU MM LEE KUAN YEW FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DID FOR US AND FOR BEING SUCH A RESPECTABLE ROLE MODEL WE ALL VERY LOOK UP TO. you're now in a peaceful place i hope you have met mdm lee too. (even tho it sounds kind of illogical to say that)

    THIS!! 

    Monday, February 9, 2015

    They always learn when it's too late

    #throwtotheveryback 

    hey peepoz! current site is back & publicized :) y'know i feel v touched by afew of my readers, for making an effort to reach me just to ask for invitations to my blog
    came across an article one of these days about dad's. and i randomly felt this, this pic could express how i feel. so..

    OUCH! I DONT KNOW HOW GRANNY GOT HERSELF SCALDED THIS BADLY LIKE SHE LITERALLY HUGGED THE WHOLE POT. i mean, it's THAT deep! my heart so pain la! aunt brought her to the doc and it is said that she's gonna recover in a week or two. god bless! 

    an evening spending few hours catching up. 

    Then it was lanying's birthday dinner with Jolene and her. Initially craving for steamboat but changed of mind when we hopped into the cab hahaha 

    Birthday girl! Happy birthday and thanks for always being available :)

    Yep, since we all haven't and wanted to, we pay our first visit @ SPRUCE. 


    Nice ambience with awesome people. Dinner was good with a pint of beer best! most importantly the girl did enjoyed herself 


    None to my likings on the menu and so i chose tenderloin steak.   
    Enjoyed my night with the girls

    Sunday, February 8, 2015

    that hand fits mine so perfectly like it was made for me

    just got home two hours ago and am unable to sleep. today's gonna be the most unforgettable day ever in the 23 years of my life. you can say it's  coincidence, or fate i don't know and i don't care. one thing i know for sure it's that i place and leave my fate in god's hand. if only we hadn't given up on each other we'd be the happiest couple in the world. but now that we've both matured, maybe we should accept that two person who love each other doesn't have to be together. 

    it aches me to feel two different kind of pain. 

    Saturday, February 7, 2015

    Some people will have to learn how to appreciate you by losing you.

    before starting, here are some overdues that i haven't uploaded in the recent posts. 

    my annoying friend imitating me. FUCKING POSER :'D he says this is my signature pose. 有meh是meh? :O 


    looking over these bitches like terms and conditions chey

    my bf says i used to sleep on him like this during the early days when we were together but i totally got no idea hahaha

    sorry sorry too obsessed with my nail bleh
    HA HA HA W T F stupid joey! but i had a good time laughing though. 
    yay! liling managed to get the design of lens i WANT & LIKE. hehe~ 

    mai sng leh! 
    And oh! my beloved granny he he he so cute!
    and so I've been receiving a lot of "go get yourself prepared, I'm bringing you out for your fav food" these few days ;)
    the daily scoop serves the best waffle, ice creams & brownie i would never trade 'em for all the other ice cream from another parlor. 

    doing practically nothing productive these few weeks except mahjong (and it's not even productive) LOL

    Friday, February 6, 2015

    finally made it there

    people with dental phobia like me are definitely aware of the anxiety and how irrational the fear is yet there's nothing we can do about it. this phobia have been shadowing me since young. i will always do everything possible to avoid going to the dentist only when extreme pain forces me to then i will. the intense uneasiness at the thought of objects being placed in my mouth and the feeling of nervousness that escalates while walking into the room is unexplainable. but Dr Winston How never fails to ease and calm me down at every reluctant visits. THUMBS UP! :'D (not forgetting lanying for lending me your hand. to squeeze all the time >.< muahaha!)


    so you know where to go when it's time to visit a dentist, a good one i meant :)

    Thursday, January 29, 2015

    GRAB YOURS

    hey fellow readers, i'am letting go some of the clothes from my wardrobe at any price above $10 (name your own price it's negotiable) 

    PS: All brand new! 
    leave me an email at anqi.tedz@gmail.com 

    CROCHET DRESS WITH OPEN BACK. bought at the cost of $18
    size guide : 
    Fits UK6-8 / EU 34-36 
    Bust 16"
    Length 32"

    LACE TRIM BRALET (WHITE) CROCHET. bought at the cost of $18
    size guide : 
    Fits UK6
    PTP across 15"
    Length 15"

    LACE INVERTED CROP TOP (WHITE) 
    bought at the cost of $17
    size guide : 
    Fits UK6
    PTP across 13"
    Length 16"

    SHIMMERS & BEADS BANGLE SET 
    from lovisa. any takers? giving it out free cos i doesn't really suit me. 

    MOVIE KNIGHT HP CASE FOR IPHONE 5. $8
    SMUDGE PROOF MASCARA TOOL $5.90
    every single women would probably face problems with applying mascara all the time. bid goodbye to the hassle! any takers too?

    *actually i have so many more to upload but I'm just lazy. goodnight for now. Back soon